15 Comments
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Angela's avatar

Completely immersed until the last word. This convinced me to go back and catch up on all the chapters I missed!

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C. James Desmond's avatar

Thanks, Angela. Good to have you back.

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Angela's avatar

Saving this chapter for after work, will report back 💛

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C. James Desmond's avatar

Many thanks, Angela. Nice to hear from you.

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Victoria's avatar

I can't find the words to comment on what is going on in my head, but I still wanted to share how not only the story of an addict's perspective lingers with me, but your honesty moves me more.

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C. James Desmond's avatar

Thank you, Victoria.

If you find the words, let me know.

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Rudy Love's avatar

Fuckin' terrible, mate. When's Joe gunna just give up and put that bullet in his head?

Would save us a lotta time, eh?

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Matthew R. Taylor's avatar

Wow, hard to see Joe going back through all of that pain again. Hoping he has the inner strength to pull through and finally get sober. Great chapter despite being hard to read.

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C. James Desmond's avatar

Thanks for the comment, Matthew. And your continued support.

The rest of the book is a tough read. Joseph starts talking to the spike, hallucinating...

I received messages from several people this morning about how this chapter was too heavy, and that I should've warned people.

If it's too much, read one of the bestsellers.

They're sure to be sunny and happy.

(Not you, Matthew. Speaking generally here.)

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Matthew R. Taylor's avatar

Is it the easiest thing to read at times? Absolutely not. But how you wrote it and the pain, beauty, and torment you put in there is so real and unflinching. I feel like I'm right there with Joseph, battling through that addiction and pain right alongside him.

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C. James Desmond's avatar

That was exactly my intention. Thank you, brother.

This is written in blood.

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Chrissy's avatar

I read this and… it knocked the wind out of me.

You might not have known what it would stir in me, but I wish there had been a moment of pause—a warning, a breath, a heartbeat of grace.

Because some of us are still picking bone fragments out of memory. Some of us live with that same image burned into our skulls. And while this chapter may have already existed before I shared my story, this is the first time I’ve read it.

And it hurt.

I’m not asking for censorship. I know this is your story, your pain. But I guess I hoped mine mattered enough to warrant a little care. Even a word.

I hope you know that wasn’t easy to read. And I hope you understand why.

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C. James Desmond's avatar

Chrissy, I have no idea how to respond to this...

This is the next chapter. I don't do trigger warnings.

I lived through a semblance of this.

It's not supposed to be positive and sunny.

Drug addiction is hell.

This is hell.

It's not supposed to be an easy read.

And frankly, I'm not sorry.

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Rachel Victorianna's avatar

You know how they say in the rooms, “play the tape to the end?” This is the consummate tape. It should be required reading for all opioid addicts in treatment. Brutal and unapologetic!

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Apr 17
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C. James Desmond's avatar

Thanks, Billy.

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