INTERVIEW #9

The Wayback Machine

My second livestream with Daniel Falatko.

A lovely conversation.

You can tell I don’t interact with many people. Too much giggling and uncomfortable laughter. Dan’s easy, though. A funny guy. Sometimes we writers take ourselves a bit too seriously (I do this all the time), so it’s good to laugh about it.

This was a long one. Over two hours. Around thirty minutes in, I ran out of my prepared questions. I thought Dan would want to wind down around then, but an hour and a half later, we were still talking. Time flies during a good conversation.

And hey, I interrupt, I stutter, I fuck up words, my brain malfunctions (benzo withdrawal), but we got it done. I couldn’t stand still. I tend to pace when I talk to people on the phone.

I tend to pace in general.

We covered a lot. His new article regarding NBA YoungBoy, which should be out on March 12th, depending on the publication. (Either The Metropolitan Review or his own Substack.) Also discussed Epstein, Maxwell, Substack beefs, and much more.

Dan suggested I interview C. J. Heath, but he blocked me because I told him his writing sucked. Medieval fiction isn’t really my thing. Maybe I can get Jenkem Queefington (AKA dogpoopwrites, I guess he changed his name) to come on the show. (This is a show now.)

He also suggested I interview Brock Eldon about our spat, and that’s something I’d definitely be willing to do. Feel free to reach out. Snowflake vs. Snowflake. (Joking, but really, if you want to, let’s do it.)

Also spoke about Tao Lin, who apparently has a sense of humor about Dan’s incessant jabs on Notes, which I think are hilarious. Let’s do an interview, Tao.

Why not?

Dan’s had great success writing Notes (100 likes on Substack is 10,000 regular likes), so I asked him about his approach.

He has none.

Basically, write the first thing that pops into your head, and publish that.

Good advice.

Emil Ottoman was mentioned. Although I don’t think the man likes me, I’d be willing to chat with him about his cache of weapons and apparent Xanax addiction, though I vaguely remember him telling me it was all fake. Well, mine wasn’t (Klonopin, not Xanax, but I used to eat bars before I shot up back in the good days), and if you have experience with benzos, I think it’d be a good chat.

Also, Chuck Palahniuk, answer your goddamn DMs. It was all a joke. Let’s do an interview. When I told you to guzzle your own diarrhea after a night of drinking only Natty Daddies and Old Thompson, I was totally kidding.

And of course, the night I blacked out and slept with a transexual came up. I based the story on a chapter in my upcoming novel, THE BARMAN. What can I say, I don’t discriminate. I hope you’re well, Stevie.

All you tolerant people out there, put your money where your mouth is.

Or your cock.

Bottom line: I’m an asshole, and I’m lucky that anyone talks to me.

Thanks to The Wayback Machine, who you should all know as Daniel Falatko. A great writer and friend.

Matthew Gasda, please explain this—

Shout out to Pablo Báez.

Shout out to Slater Henatay.

I definitely missed a few people, so go ahead and tag yourself in the comments.

Until next time.

Hate mail: episodesinsapphire@gmail.com

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P.S.—Pick up Dan’s novel, The Wayback Machine, here.

And Substack would only let me post this “podcast” to paid subscribers, which I won’t do, so I had to download it and make it a regular post. That’s why it’s horizontal. Sorry. Blame Substack.

Great cover.

Not great.

Not brat.